Reasons I Won the 2020 Election

As proven with facts and logic

As you know, the recent recount in Georgia has clarified beyond a shadow of a doubt that neither President Donald Trump nor former-Vice President Joe Biden have taken the 270 votes necessary to secure the electoral college.

Trump has stated in no uncertain terms that the Georgia recount is not in Biden’s favor. Yet officials in the state deny that Trump has taken the lead.

Because neither Joe Biden nor Donald Trump won Georgia, due to my impeccably flimsy argument, there is only one logical conclusion to draw: I won the election.

Incredible as it sounds, declaring yourself to be the winner of the election is all it takes to make yourself a legitimate candidate for president nowadays. Try it, you might improve the DOW.

However, the opposition is using intimidation, exhortation, corruption, fabrication, defamation, lactation, fornication, flanderization, and all manner of skulduggery to try to subvert our democracy and steal this election. To prevent my opponents from spreading lies and misinformation, here is an easy -to-follow, bullet-point list proving that I, Shain Slepian, am the president-elect of these United States: